Saturday, December 31, 2011

When peeps tell me they don't have time for social media to read about friends "fixing lunch," I used to explain. Now I shrug and move on.
Offline w/ need more planning. Can't do Fridays cuz my blogs post; dont want 2 miss the conversation. Or BBsitting days either. Tuesdays?
Back online. Took yesterday offline. Didn't even check smartphone. Okay, twice. It was very organic and peaceful. The experience continues.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Going offline for the rest of the day in my ongoing experiment. CYA tomorrow!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Free, interactive "biz cards" at Here's mine for ex:
Thanks to @janefriedman for telling me about Moo.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Today's the 1st day of my new plan: No computer after 7 a.m. on Wednesdays. Trying to be more mindful/present. Will report back tomorrow.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Art is crucial to society because it asks us to imagine - and when we imagine, all things are possible. @nmkelby

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Publishing 2012: the Internet is both midwife & executioner per @SamHarrisOrg:

Friday, December 16, 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

AME's 52 Ways to Sell More Books is the most generous give-away I've ever seen. Thanks to Penny Sansevieri
Re Tony Bourdain's Xmas show. I get acid reflux and a hangover just watching.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Rhoda Curtis, 93-yr-old blogger for Huffington Post, on what it's like to be her age:

Friday, December 2, 2011

US medical "trash" saving lives. Effort must spread! Lets get the word out:

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Over 40 fashion, created & modeled by us. I'm going to try it. Why don't you? Check out

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Do Appearances Matter?

In this article, Ellie Williams says New York police have started warning girls with too-short skirts that they could attract sexual predators. Williams is annoyed, because she feels the police are blaming the (potential) victims.

I agree with her that we shouldn't assume sexual assault is the fault of the victim, but I do think people don't always think about what their clothing says about them. Like the underwear models in the picture above. Maybe I'm old, but I don't get what the girls in the thong panties are trying to say. Any ideas?

We love laughing at the "People of Walmart" pictures, and HR people always have a half-dozen funny stories about people who come to an interview in appalling outfits. Appearance matters.

Believe me, I rebelled against this appearances thing, as a young woman in the 60s and 70s. I thought it was superficial to judge people based on appearances. I'd go into a nice clothing store in faded jeans and feel offended when the clerks treated me like an unserious customer, which I was, in view of the fact that I was poor, but I thought they were snotty and elitist.

In my thirties, I was waiting for a guy to come by the house and pick me up for our first date. I saw his car from the bathroom window. It was an old, faded, Fiat with torn upholstery and bald tires.

I should have stayed in the bathroom. Instead I ended up marrying and supporting that man. We divorced seven years later. The first impression I got from his car said everything, but I had been taught not to judge by appearances. Now that I'm older, I realize that humans really don't have any other way to draw first impressions.

We humans respond to visual cues. While dressing like a streetwalker - or going naked - doesn't entitle a criminal to use your body, at the same time it's wrong to say that people don't look at what you're wearing and draw conclusions. Those conclusions might turn out to be wrong, but the chance to demonstrate that fact may never come.

What do you think the young woman in the cowboy hat is saying with her choice of clothing? To me, it says I'm sexy and fun. Let's play. That's her decision - she's a grown woman - but I'm hoping she's also a martial arts expert.

Ah, well, she'll probably change as she gets older. When I was a teenager, I applied for a job. The prospective employer called my current boss and asked for a reference. Vick praised me to the hilt. The prospect kept pushing. "Come on, she can't be perfect. Tell me one single flaw."

Finally Vic relented. "I had to be honest," he said later. "I told him your skirts are too short."

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Monday, October 24, 2011

Nobody Wants to Read Novels About Women Over Fifty - True or False?

That is what several highly-placed people in the literary industry told a writer friend of mine. Do you think it's true? Please let me know. Thanks so much!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Do Older Women Become Invisible?

I keep hearing that we older women become invisible, but I don’t know if I believe it.

I think invisibility is like a new car: once you buy it, you see that model everywhere.

Recently I read a post wherein an older woman (OW) claimed to be invisible because, while she stood at a counter talking with a clerk, a younger woman came up and got the clerk’s attention. And this happened on two occasions! The OW was greatly offended.

I wasn’t there, but maybe the intruder was rude and pushy, and inserted herself in a way that left the clerk no choice. It happens. Maybe you’ve even done it. Yeah, you just had that one little question. Real fast, short, question. Don’t mean to interrupt. (Are you kidding me? Never?) The OW had plans for if this happened again: she would demand the intruder wait her turn. Refuse to be shoved aside. Command respect. Show those kids you’re just as important as they are.

Heck, while you’re at it, whack ‘em with your cane, Grandma.

Do you feel invisible because men no longer ogle you? Listen, I’m not bragging, but back when I was young and cute I felt like I couldn’t sneak by those jerks. Now I can walk right down the street and they don’t even notice. It’s a relief. And really, you could get dogs to chase you if you wore a steak tied to each ankle. Or move to Alaska for more attention, where as one tour guide told me, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

Say you didn’t get the promotion you deserved. Maybe you’re not invisible so much as (a) a woman, (b) your boss is stupid or you remind him of his mom, or (c) your resume’ has some gaps in it because you took a few years off to perpetuate the species. Bad you!

I culled through everything I could find on invisibility for women over forty, and here are some suggestions for fighting back:

• speak up, don’t mumble
• dress appropriately. No bag-lady attire.
• stay up with current events so you can carry on an interesting conversation
• act interested/think of other people
• maintain fitness
• don’t be negative
• get to the point and/or be clear when articulating a problem

But you know, if a person mumbles, dresses like crap, doesn’t know what’s going on in the world, isn’t interested in their conversational partner, is cranky and complains all the time, or blabbers incoherently when reporting a problem to an authority figure, that person isn’t invisible. That person is unpleasant, or annoying, or is using way too much time. When you do that, people tend to avoid you, and it’s not age- or gender-specific.

My mom is 86 years old and less than five feet tall. She walks slowly and uses a cane, but she is only invisible until she gets to the front of the line. Then she makes herself visible. She makes eye contact, projects her voice, is courteous and gets to the point. This is on good days. On bad days, when she is more frustrated or tired, she rambles and people want her gone. They ignore her and look at me. I feel bad for Mom when that happens, but it’s not about her being invisible. It’s about her being tired, and them being in a hurry. Our species can be competitive and even cruel. A lot of the time, if you don’t bring your “A” game, you can get run over.

As if you were invisible.

What do you think? Is invisibility real, or is it something else?

Monday, October 17, 2011

"You didn't want to get stuck in a hole in Iowa; you wanted to see what was going on." Women pilots in WWII:
Evening news makes sense again, because we're too busy for cable sprawl, need nightly summary.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Has anybody watched "Enlightened", the new half-hour show starring Laura Dern on HBO? Opinions?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

RIP Steve Jobs. How is it possible that a person simply stops? Yes, yes, I know, w/ live 4ever, blah blah.

Friday, September 30, 2011

A few days ago on Morning Joe, the CEO of Gallup (the polling company) expressed surprise, if not dismay, that the American Dream has changed. According to polls, Americans no longer define the Dream as "peace, a home and family, religious freedom..." Now, they long for "a good job." I am not kidding. That is the new American Dream, according to Jim Clifton, who wrote The Coming Jobs War. You can watch him talk about it in this video.

I think we dream of a good job because it represents a means to attract a mate, pay for food/shelter/health care (well, maybe not health care), and afford to have children.

And if that's true, I think we Americans are in deep trouble.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Consider Maslow's Hierarchy. No longer are we concerned with such lofty (self-actualization) goals as world peace and religious freedom. Now it appears we've dropped down the pyramid to survival goals: food, shelter and family.

If you're over forty, you've seen the change during your own lifetime.

When I was in high school, I was capable of getting straight A's but I was immature. Most of the time I cut classes, smoked pot and turned in my work at the last minute. After graduation, I enrolled in community college, but dropped out after one semester, at age nineteen, to get married. I found a full-time job as a low-level filing clerk, with the best pay I'd ever earned. Little by little, I worked my way up. It took me eighteen years to get my bachelor's degree, attending school at night while building my career. I became a Human Resources executive, a fulfilling career where I earned great pay and benefits, and a nice retirement.

In my family, going to college wasn't critical. It was desirable, seeming to offer a vaguely "better" future, but my three siblings found well-paying professional careers without a bachelor's degree.

Those days are gone forever. Now, the younger generations must focus like lasers from preschool on up to get that "good job," which only lasts until the next merger.

My dad, born in 1924, was virtually an orphan. He attended thirteen schools before dropping out of high school to be a welder in a ship yard. When he met the classy dame who would become his wife, she encouraged him to apply for a job at Bank of America, where she worked as a teller. He did, and over the next several decades worked his way up to management, thanks to a good work ethic and the training provided by his employer.

My father, Edward Kuswa, managed banks! Back then, it was a respected profession, a notch below doctor. At one time Dad was single-handedly bringing in 60% of the loan business at the Chino, California branch. He put us four kids through Catholic school on his salary while Mom, now a full-time homemaker, sewed all our clothes and made a home for us. In 1949 they bought a brand new house in Whittier, California. It consisted of two bedrooms, a den, and one bathroom. We had a detached two-car garage and a big back yard, where us four kids played (swing set and sand box; remember, Boomers?)

In 1982, Dad retired as a bank executive. He was able to fund a decent if frugal retirement for Mom and himself, and when he passed away three years ago, he left her in good shape financially. Not rich. Minds her pennies. But good.

The highest degree Dad ever earned was a GED.

I don't object to competition or capitalism, but I do fear for my kids' and grandkids' futures. I worry that the experience of Boomers and our parents will be viewed as an aberration on the American Timeline, unrelated to their own reality. The American Dream will be seen as a charming fiction, just something the old folks reminisce about, like five-cent ice cream cones and affordable medical care.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Melissa Foster Is The Most Productive Person I Know. Here's How She Does It.

Melissa Foster is the busiest and most productive person I know, and she is a joyful spirit. She is an author, artist, mentor, motivator and mother of six (!), and I wanted to know how she does it. What do her days look like? How does she motivate herself, keep track of everything, and maintain work/life balance? In spite of all her other activities, Melissa was kind enough to answer my questions. You can learn more about this amazing woman by visiting her website.

1. Do you have any particular strategies to get the most out of your body and mind, for example, avoiding certain foods or alcohol, or a diligent exercise routine?

I am a list maker and scheduler. I plan everything from making school lunches to calling my mother--seriously. I cherish my writing time as if it were what makes me breathe. I gain clarity by not being overwhelmed, and while running the Women's Nest, developing WoMen's Lit Cafe, rewriting a book for Jenny Bent, and releasing COME BACK TO ME (in November), scheduling is the only way that I can maintain my focus. As for exercise and eating, I was a vegetarian for ten years and just this past summer decided to begin eating meat again. I can no longer claim a "clean" diet. I'm a candy fiend--Skittles and Starburst help me through my rough patches, and ice cream is my fall back support system. I am an avid exerciser, mostly because I don't like the way my body aches and complains when I don't use it.

I think it's very important to take time to rejuvenate your body and mind, no matter what your chosen profession is--from stay-at-home mom to neurosurgeon. If you don't find time to rejuvenate, you'll eventually run out of emotional energy, which will lead to less productivity and creativity.

2. Do you have a daily work routine relating to your career? What does that look like?

Oh, yes, that's easy. It's been the same since 2006. I write from 9am until 2pm Monday through Friday, September through June. From 2pm until midnight, I spend time with my children, while weaving in marketing and my social networks. During the summer I regroup, plan, market, strategize, and enjoy my family. During the summers exercising is the start of each day - three miles each morning. During the school year, my exercise comes in later in the day.

3. What do you like about your home office?

Everything. I work best when it's just me, my computer, and a radio. I need natural sunlight and few distractions in order to climb into my characters' minds and pour their actions onto paper. My home office allows me to spend more time at the keyboard (no travel time to and from the office).

4. Do you have any help, i.e. staff of any kind? If so, what do they do?

I keep lobbying for a wife, but my husband hasn't agreed to that yet. I have two assistants that I can call upon to do a bit of marketing if I need help, but primarily, I handle everything myself. I'm a bit of a control freak, and it's very important to me that whatever information I am putting out to the public comes directly from me. I don't allow anyone to do my social networking or respond to my correspondence. I love interacting with readers and other authors--that's one of my favorite parts of being an author.

5. Do you ever have days you don't feel motivated? If so, how do you re-motivate yourself? Any tricks?

This sounds very cliche, but I am always motivated to write. I do, however, sometimes have scattered moments where I have 15 different items on my to-do list and I stare at it like a deer in the headlights. What I do in that case is to micro-manage my time. I'll break it down into small increments of time so I can have a focus -- For example, allowing myself 45 minutes to write an article, then penciling in 25 minutes to answer interview questions, then 10 minutes to tweet, etc. Once I have a plan, it's easier for me to attack.

6. Do you ever worry about work/life balance? If so, what do you do about it?

Absolutely. I think any successful person has that concern, male or female. Life is about balance, but it's also about being kind to yourself. In this business, in many ways it's feast or famine. I have either way too much work all at once, or just enough that I can fill my time, which always feels more like not enough work, lol. The way I handle the "guilts" is to insure that I'm making up for the time lost. For example, lately, there are many nights that I work until midnight helping aspiring authors get a grip on how to handle their social media, writing, marketing, whatever it might be. I'm either on the computer or on the phone.

What I do to make up for that is set aside time that is only family time. There are no cell phones or televisions at dinner time. We plan weekend outings as a family, and I leave my cell phone in the car on many occasions. When I talk to my children, I look them in the eye and listen, really listen. These are the things that make a difference. No one wants to feel like they're interfering with their mother, sister, lover, or spouse's day. Everyone needs time and attention. It's planning that time, apologizing when it simply can't be had, and understanding that whatever crazy schedule you have at the moment, will not be forever. Then, make the changes in your life that will make you feel less guilty, and give you more time with your family. I have written several articles on prioritizing and "mommy guilt", and they're on my website.

7. What kind of calendar(s) or calendar system do you use?

I am horrible at calendars. I try to use Google calendar, but I always do really well for a while and then it all falls apart. I have two VERY large calendars. One hangs on my fridge and one by my desk. I'm a sticky-note girl and an alarm-girl. I set an alarm on my phone for everything from picking up my children from school, to blog tour appointments, then I cross reference that to my two calendars, and I am never fully satisfied unless I have a BIG yellow sticky note on my computer that alerts me to my appointments. And yes, I do have a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that says, "WALK" :-)

8. Do you have any hobbies?

This is a difficult question for me to answer, because I feel as though helping others is my hobby. While some get joy from collecting things or riding horses, I get joy from helping others see the positive side of life and feel good about themselves. I used to scrapbook, but I haven't had time to do that in the past two years. I have painted (Google "Kids Murals By Melissa"), but writing has taken over the time I used to devote to painting. I enjoy reading, but usually save reading time for midnight until one a.m. I think I'm in a funny stage of life where I realize that there are many awesome writers out there who work just as hard as I do, but they don't know what to do after they write a book. I enjoy helping them learn the next step.

9. Do you consider any day of the week as a day of rest?

Lol - a day of what??? I usually don't write on the weekends, but I don't rest on those days, either. If I'm not writing, I'm not good at sitting still. I like to do family activities, going to fairs, taking walks, doing anything other than being inside.

10. Finally, Melissa, what would you like to tell us about your writing?

You might have noticed that I'm a genre hopper, which is something that traditional publishers don't care for. For that reason, I'll be working with my amazing agent, Jenny Bent, to traditionally publish my suspense line of books. Jenny and I will also work together to continue independently publishing my women's fiction line.

Megan's Way, which was my debut novel, is a work of literary fiction, and is currently being adapted to film. Chasing Amanda, my second release, is a suspense novel, and my third book, Come Back to Me, is contemporary fiction--an international love story/tragedy (not romance). Come Back to Me will be released in early November, 2011.

I'm excited about all of the endeavors I'm currently involved in, from writing new manuscripts to launching the WoMen's Literary Cafe, but what really thrills me is being connected with readers, reviewers, and other writers. I'm inspired by the comments and emails I receive from readers, and by the writers who are finding their way into the world of publishing. I'm excited to see each new writer learn and succeed, and to hear from readers about the things they love--and hate--about my novels. The literary community is an exciting one, and I'm proud to be part of it.


Melissa Foster is the award-winning author of two novels, Megan’s Way and Chasing Amanda. She is the founder of the Women’s Nest, a social and support community for women, and WoMen’s Literary CafĂ©, a literary community. Melissa is currently collaborating in the film production of Megan’s Way. Melissa has written for Calgary’s Child Magazine, and Women Business Owners Magazine. She hosts an annual Aspiring Authors contest for children, and has painted and donated several murals to The Hospital for Sick Children in Washington, DC. Melissa is currently working on her next novel, and lives in Maryland with her family.

Melissa's interests include her family, reading, writing, painting, friends, helping women see the positive side of life, and visiting Cape Cod. A portion of every book sold is donated to Provincetown Cares.

Melissa enjoys discussing her books with book clubs and reader groups, and welcomes an invitation to your event. For more information and to contact her, please visit her website.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Ready for prime time. Boomer makes YouTube vid:
morningjoe Joe turning into Chris Mathews. Joe to Mika: Just look pretty & shut up. He's getting boorish. Used to like, now hard 2 watch.
Ron Paul’s Campaign Manager Died Sick and Uninsured, the Way ‘Freedom’ Allows

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fight to keep our daughters / granddaughters from becoming pieces of meat (too strong? get over it):

Friday, September 9, 2011

Dinner 2nite at the Hitching Post (from the movie Sideways). Awesome rib eye & celebrity vibe in a Friday night working class setting. Fab!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Dr. Jill Taylor tells Feisty Side of Fifty how to nurture your body & brain so that you love your life:
Farmers use social media - a neat story:

Friday, August 26, 2011

Just heard Irene is the size of Europe!! 46 million peeps will have sustained winds of 50 mph. Let's do a jobs program rebuilding afterwds.
Years ago I saw a riveting doc on how kids in jr. and high school formed social "tribes". I think it was NOVA or PBS. Anybody remember?

Tina Fey Is My Hero

Tina Fey Is My Hero

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

That 5.9 was just a foot massage for California cows:
A 5.9 earthquake? You'd think a nuke blew up, from all the wide-eyed coverage in the East. Tee hee.
Actresses form anti-plastic surgery league. Amazing.
Dr. V asks if we older women have role models for aging gracefully? I don't. Any suggestions?

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

41 Blog Success Tips from Chris Garrett (thanks to Joanna Penn for this.)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I love social networking but sometimes it takes over my life! Here's an article about taming the beast. I'm going to try #8.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Google Chrome finally has print-preview feature. Thank u to the big G.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Want 2 believe in God so I can thank Her 4 basil, chives & cherry tomatoes fr garden this a.m. savored w/ scrambled eggs & classical music.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Middle-aged Woman Grows Balls!

I watched the door close behind the mammo-tech. She went to ask the radiologist if anything more would be needed. Left alone in the xray room with the boob masher machine, I glared at the thing. It had a little pink ribbon decal on the side.

"Fuck you," I whispered.

I had been called back for another look after a recent mammogram. And now they want to schedule an ultrasound. Yes, there's a little tiny thing. I hate to even use the word, it's so freighted. But yes, the word was mass. And they have to see if it's benign or not.

You know what my reaction was? Bring it.

When you get old, you get wrinkles and all kinds of stupid stuff that you don't want. But you know what you maybe also get? Tough.

I'm tired of being scared. I'm ready for fearlessness. I'm entering the Crone stage, I think. Put a cape over my shoulders and a giant C on my chest. Read it any way you want, I'm feeling awesome. Powerful.

I've had more than my share of health alerts and surgeries in my 57 years. Enough that when I got this latest, I think the radiologist was thrown by all the 'tude coming at her.

Whatever happens, happens. Do what you gotta. Life is good.

I dedicate this post to my friend who is in the middle of being treated for an aneurysm behind her eye, and to my other friend who just recovered her 17-handicap three years after her aneurysm - in her brain. To my three girlfriends who were recently widowed. To my 86-year-old mom who is hoping to drive as soon as her broken leg heals.

Life: Bring. It.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Are We Old or Just Out of Shape?

I agreed to babysit my infant granddaughter when her parents went back to work. At first I was sure I was doing permanent damage to my body, which is 57 years old and has arthritis. But after about three weeks, I felt better. My body adjusted to 9-hour days of lifting, carrying, holding, going up and down stairs, pushing her stroller on daily walks, and getting up and down off the floor (a mat where we play), usually with her in my arms.

It was amazing! I got stronger and more limber. Turns out I wasn't crickety so much as out of shape. The greatest part about this was discovering one thing in this increasingly weird world that I could control. You know this world: the one where your ears and nose are getting longer or you sneeze and pee your pants or you get growths in weird places on your skin? Unlike aging, this one thing - fitness - seemed to be within my ability to improve. I was pretty stoked.

Even though I'm not babysitting any more, I now try to work out every day, but I can't get to the gym that often. So I bought Kathy Smith's "Ageless" exercise DVD for not-young people.

Holy crap! I'm back at the "I'm gonna die!" stage. But Smith is around my age, she's perky but not annoying, and Ageless is for older peeps, so I'm sticking with it. Ageless consists of four 15-minute segments, which anybody should be able to fit into their schedule most of the time.

I'm telling you this because I want to share with you my feeling of hope. At our age, so much of our bodily changes are of the stunning, what the hell now? variety, so it feels good to think that we might still have the power to improve something. Anything.

Also, I figured you can razz me if I don't follow through. This part is probably a mistake. But thanks in advance for being my warden - er, I mean, coach. And if you or I need motivation, we can always watch 80-year old Sister Madonna Buder doing the Ironman Triathlons.
Per @DarryleP, Facebook is one of the top 10 most hated companies in America. Here are the rest:

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The nerve of these Saudi women, expecting to be able to leave the house without a man monitoring them!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

"If you want to have high self-esteem, do something estimable." Dr. Ann Marie Sastry.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Revise the Constitution? Only if the framing committee is made up of older women (my 1st blog post for VN!):

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Remember I suggested older single women start boarding houses for each other? Huffington Post has same idea here:

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Christine Brennan wrongly excoriated for calling out discriminatory behavior:

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sick of "Read my blog! Read my blog!"
I don't wanna read your blog. There are millions available. Tell me why I should spend time on yours.
Do your best but don't discount luck or randomness:
Boomer women, change your life after 50. Reading Diane Gilman is like mainlining caffeine!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Ann Patchett's new novel featuring kick-@$$ older woman. Said to be even better than Bel Canto!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Yikes! Cell phones aren't yet proven to be safe, and 2/3 of children over age 7 use them.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Still modeling at 82: Daphne Selfe. Thanks to Lines of Beauty for this.
I like Google Reader but still too much info. Now it's tamed thanks to Jane Friedman's blog about using GR PostRank.

Friday, May 20, 2011

How to print a bicycle: 3D printing is here. My head is spinning with the implications!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Arnold ran for gov knowing Maria was unaware of his love child? How risky and arrogant was that?

Monday, May 16, 2011

I've been saying this for years! Why not generate electricity from gym equipment usage? Create light from calories!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

An easy trick to boost your creativity:

Life Rules

Older peeps sometimes think they're starting to figure out this thing called LIFE, and then they're tempted to make lists of the things that work. Our rules help us feel more secure, as if the world has a bit of logic to it after all.

My former boss and mentor once told me he had developed a list of rules or guidelines he found useful throughout his life. At the time I thought it was amusing. Old people did stuff like that (he was maybe 45?) However, now that I'm older, I would love to see it. Recently I asked him if I could please get a copy, but he professed he never constructed such a list (see Rule #5, below.)

My husband invented the "90/10" rule. After thirty years of selling cars for a living, he's studied every kind of human behavior. He says people tend to over-buy for emotional reasons, but if they knew what they needed their vehicle to do 90% of the time, they'd be happy and save a lot of money. Maybe you don't need 4-wheel drive if you only go on an occasional picnic in the hills.

90/10 means Mom needs to live where she can have a lot of friends, because she is a social butterfly, as opposed to immediate proximity to her doctor, who she doesn't see that often. 90/10 means it's a good day if I accomplished 90% of my to-do list. 90/10 means we should spend more money on education than prisons.

I'm not the only one who thinks about life rules. Gail Brenner, a middle-aged psychologist, blogs about it. So do Marc and Angel, a smart young couple who are eager to share their view of the world.

Here are some of my life lessons or rules. I hope you'll contribute yours:

1.Ask. Listen.
2.Don't make eye contact with maniacs. They're looking for somebody to torture, and it doesn't have to be you.
3.Before you blow your top, consider the price you'll have to pay later, because there is always a price.
4.She who cares the most, loses. Sick but true.
5.Cool politeness is a useful form of cruelty.

Do you have rules for living?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Book Slut (Jessa Crispin) says smart books are over, and MFA programs a scam.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

I like what Larry Brooks has to say about how to write. Thanks to Joanna Penn for interviewing him.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Writers: good info here about constructing a logline. Many thanks to Christopher Lockhart.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Just passed 12,000 page views of my blog. I started it 18 months ago. Grateful for the sense of community it engenders. Thanks, sistahs!
Hillary says no mas. No slant. Just a simple "NO."

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I've always been told I work too hard and worry too much. Now here's proof I'll live longer as a result!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Ha ha, Bin Laden! Per NY Times: "Jihadists look like ineffectual bystanders to history"

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Today's (Sunday 2/27) Doonesbury exemplifies why I don't watch evening news (plus I don't have time!)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Old lady style! Just found this wonderful blog. Treat yourself to a bit of Ari Cohen:

Friday, February 25, 2011

Generations NOT at each others' throats in spite of what you read, per Lorraine Devon Wilke.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Qaddafi vows to fight to the death to retain control. Must think he owns the place.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

On a Carib cruise ship with lots of time and unlimited wireless. Even tho that's 1 definition of heaven, I can't use it. I'm snorkelin, mon.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Don't let the media mess up your preteen daughter: (thanks to Amy Siskind):

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Friday, January 28, 2011

Mika on Morning Joe starts a sentence with "Even the most apathetic news junkie..." Huh?! I want to like her but wonder re her brain power.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Friday, January 21, 2011

I feel so honored to have been asked to do a guest post for Thank you, Louise Cady-Fernandes.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

This is a chilling, but necessary reminder about protecting yourself re social media:

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Boomer writers, are you too old to get published? A provocative post from The Crabby Old Bat, @nicolamorgan.
Thinking of not trying to publish my novel for another year to see what shakes out in pub industry. 2 uncertain right now. What do u think?

Saturday, January 8, 2011

92-years old and still kicking butt: Congresswoman Jane Harmon's husband, and recent buyer of Newsweek, Sydney Harmon.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"paper will become the minority distribution method for published media."

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Monday, January 3, 2011